Gender Stereotypes

We play a major role in shaping our toddlers' mindsets. I was reminded of this last weekend when I went out with a couple. We were shopping for baby clothes and I spotted a cute white t-shirt with a butterfly pattern on the front. When I showed it to them, they patiently explained to me that boys don't wear clothes with pictures of butterflies on them. Balls, vehicles, alphabets and teddybears were acceptable. I can understand that parents would avoid certain colours for their boys (like pink) but I had no idea it extended to patterns as well. Later, when we moved to the toys section, I saw that even here they had separate sections for boys and girls. The girls' section was filled with dolls, and tea sets, make up boxes and a lot of very pink things (I was looking at it from a distance, and it really did seem like a sea of pink from where I was standing). The boys section had aeroplanes, train sets, GI Joes... generally stuff that looked like more fun. Oh, I've played with a lot of dolls in my time, but the toys in the boys section seem infinitely more exciting to me as an adult. I wish we wouldn't program our kids into thinking a certain way. Girls should have both dolls and cars to play with (and baby boys should be able to wear butterfly-print t-shirts). It might actually make the world a better place; a place where women are less bothered about their looks and could change a tire if they really had to, where men stop thinking of kitchens as a no-go zone, and aren't afraid of expressing their feelings. I'm not saying there should be complete homogenization- that would not be a good thing. But do we really need to add rules about what a baby can and cannot wear or play with when nature has already taken care of the mental programming? Men aren't from Mars and women aren't from Venus: we are all from the same planet (duh!), we are just brought up differently. Sometimes, we repeat things- however ridiculous- so often that they become ingrained in our minds.

Viral Vocab

You've surely noticed how the English language has been changing rapidly with new words coming into use on a regular basis, mainly since the internet revolution. Well apparently, there is an Oxford Dictionary of English (as opposed to the more conventional Oxford English Dictionary) that allows the inclusion of these newly made up words. Here are a few examples:

chill pill a notional pill taken to make someone calm down
chillax calm down and relax
turducken a roast dish consisting of a chicken inside a duck inside a turkey
staycation holiday spent in one's home country
buzzkill a person or thing that has a depressing or dispiriting effect
automagically automatically and in a way that seems ingenious, inexplicable, or magical
exit strategy a pre-planned means of extricating oneself from a situation
overthink think about (something) too much or for too long
matchy-matchy excessively colour-coordinated
LBD little black dress
frenemy a person with whom one is friendly despite a fundamental dislike or rivalry
cheeseball lacking taste, style, or originality
hikikomori the abnormal avoidance of social contact, typically by adolescent males (in Japan)

They say the only way to remember new words is to use them in a sentence. Since we have so many new words here, I'm going to need an entire paragraph to fit them all in. Now, to begin:

I am totally overthinking this. Is it that difficult to find accessories for my LBD so that I don't end up being all matchy-matchy at the party tonight? The last thing I want is for someone to think I am a cheeseball. Quite apart from that being an insult, it reminds me of the lunch my LKG benchmate used to bring to school, the eating of which was followed by her wiping her cheesebally (yes, this will be my contribution to the ODE) fingers on my sleeve. Yuck! She was definitely the first frenemy I had. I wish there was a way to automagically erase all but the most pleasant childhood memories. Sigh. I need to take a chill pill, chillax and think of an exit strategy in case I get stuck with some buzzkill this evening who can't stop praising the turducken on the buffet table, which would make it impossible to eat a dish I might have tried had I not heard the name and mentally shortened it to... (I will leave that to your imagination). And who knows? I might even come across a more accomplished hikikomori than myself, although if (s)he were that good, (s)he'd be at home, enjoying a staycation instead of planning an exit strategy for a non-existent social event.

Rants about Nothing in Particular

A lot of things are happening differently. So many, in fact, that it is beginning to make me wonder if all that I thought to be true for as long as I can remember could, in fact, be the opposite of true. (Would that be untrue or false or both?). Very disturbing. Consider this: when a person gets back from vacation, they experience what is known as a vacation hangover, where they take some time to adjust to life as usual. Guess what- not true! Also, it has been one of my cardinal beliefs that nothing good ever happens on a Sunday, the last day of the weekend. Also not true. I am actually enjoying the day, and even looking forward to the coming week. Like I said, there is something seriously wrong with the world. No, not with me; there is never anything wrong with me.

I have started taking driving lessons from a friend and am having the time of my life. I can't say for sure, but I get the feeling, my friend may not be enjoying it quite as much. It might have been the crumpling up of my learner's permit in fear when I drove in the direction of oncoming traffic, or the expressionlessness at the end of 45 minutes of badly executed turns, but I get the feeling my friend may not be quite as enthusiastic about the thrill ride as I am. What can I say? Some people just don't have the thirst for adventure.

Speaking of adventures, I got married a little over a month ago and discovered that I really like it. Also, there is something to be said for the founders of the institution of marriage. Whoever you people were, may your souls rest in peace. "I'm married" is quickly becoming my favourite excuse- it is just so versatile. In the coming months, you can look forward to a full discourse on the variety of situations and social gatherings where it can be used, and the things (inanimate or otherwise) it can help you avoid.

Life Changers

Last week, I got my Learner's permit. I'd been struggling with that a long time. With all the happiness surrounding the receipt of my passport last year, I had forgotten to check if everything was ok. (You have already guessed that it wasn't, haven't you?) It turns out they didn't give me a last name at all. My full name was my first name. So when I was issued a visa, it said that my full name was my last name (because whatever else you don't have, you need a last name). As a consequence my first name was listed as "unknown", and I have been having trouble trying to prove to the people at the DMV that I do, in fact have a first name, and it certainly isn't "Unknown". It might be funny if some parent named their child Unknown, just for kicks. When this person has trouble getting his license, he can just stand his ground and say, "No ma'am, my name is Unknown, and I can prove it to you", pulling out his birth certificate.

Anyway, all's well that ends well. The next step is the road test, which I am going to think about only after the wedding. Salman Rushdie once said with absolute certainty that he knew why women got so excited about their wedding. It is all about the dress, he declared; and he would know, he's quite a veteran when it comes to weddings (his own weddings, in case I wasn't clear enough on that point). One columnist tried to disprove that, but she ended up further proving his point when all the brides-to-be she interviewed could talk only of their ideas for their wedding dress. I know I am not getting married for the dress. Or the jewellery. Or for being the center of attention (that's just scary). The way I see it, the ceremony is the part you'd want to fast forward through/ completely skip over years later, when you sit reminiscing. Isn't the wedding just supposed to mark (or celebrate) the beginning of a new phase of your life? A phase where your life becomes linked to that of another person, and where you learn to stop thinking so much of yourself and take your significant other's likes, spoken or otherwise, into consideration, while making decisions that you normally would in the blink of an eye, being a part of a new family and adjusting to their way of life. The 'wedding' isn't just the ceremony. It is everything that follows. Maybe I have no idea what I am talking about. So far, the main questions most of my girlfriends have asked about the wedding have been along the lines of, "So, what about the dress and ornaments? Have you selected them already? What's it like?" :) Fortunately, at least the married ones seem to think the way I do.

What's up with that?

You meet a friend on the street and he/she says, "hey, 'ssup?". How do you respond? If, like me, nothing's ever 'up' with you, do you get to pass on the the 'ssup and just reply to the 'hey'? Because 9 times out of 10 when I am asked what's up, I have no choice but to say, 'nothing'. It's almost like people are reminding me that there is nothing interesting going on in my life. But seriously, how do you answer that? Let's go over a few test scenarios, just for fun.

Scene 1

Friend: Hey, what's up?

Me: I was just walking down the road, putting one foot in front of the other, and now you are standing across from me asking me this question. I think that covers my side of the story. What's up with you?

Scene 2

Another Friend: So... what's up?

Me: Well, I did my grocery shopping a few hours ago, bought carrots, spinach, rice, cabbage, cucumbers, bread, some coffee, thinking of getting a water filter. I plan to send emails to my family soon. You know I have a large family, right? My uncle's younger son just moved to Uganda to pursue a career in farming (he was inspired by farmville)....Today morning I walked to the lab, waited at the signal for a car to cross. When I was crossing the road I met a friend who asked what's up. So I told her.... blah blah blah....

Scene 3

Yet Another Friend: What's up?

Me: (looking up) Funny, I never noticed the sky before you asked me. Anyway, now I know. (pause). Although I wonder why so many people have been asking me that lately. They can't be so lazy that they are unwilling to tilt their heads up for just a second to find out themselves....hmm...

**The plot thickens**

Work and Woes

Research is just like any other job. This morning, I found myself comparing it to working in the army. Think about it: you start off wondering, where's the action? Did I sign up just to read stuff and think? Then the artillery fire starts and you start praying to God to just get you out of this mess alive. Well, I think I have reached that stage now. I am in my lab from 9 to 5 as usual, but I actually spend all that time working. All of it. No goofing around or extra long lunch breaks.

Then I come home and do more work. Weekends are no exception. Even Friday evenings, the sacredest of sacred times for me (in terms of being lazy, don't get the wrong idea), so sacred that I do not so much as think of work during that time, are devoted to writing reports. The good thing is that deadlines usually arrive before we know it. Plus, I am going to appreciate my vacation so much more this year- I'm already counting off days, whenever I have the time to do it, that is. Sigh.

Because I don't have a car, I have to rely on public transport (university transport actually) for my grocery shopping. I never understood what I do to deserve this, but I always end up having the strangest conversations with the weirdest people. One day while I was shopping, a guy comes up and asks if he can share my trolley. The fact that someone had asked me that in a hypermarket full of shopping carts and trolleys took me aback. This person took my blankness for a yes, and took over my trolley. I had to tag along behind till he finally finished his shopping and reached a checkout counter. On the way, he even told me his life story, which I remember very little of, except that it sounded a bit far fetched and unnecessarily sad. I didn't say anything and let it pass. After all, it had to be a one-time incident. I would remember to steer clear of this person in future for sure.

But a few weeks later, there was a new challenge. Someone came up to me and introduced himself. I gave him my name too. The next thing I know, he has sent me a friend request on facebook. Foolishly, I accepted. The week after that, this person started behaving like my best friend, asking me how my life was going and all that. "You seem like such a quiet person, but you have close to 400 friends on facebook. Now I feel like I know you, I even got your number from the sign-in sheet.", he said. I wanted to answer with, "I must have flunked the course on logic in college, because I have no idea how you got from point A to point B". Of course I didn't say it. Most of my good lines remain in my head.

See, this is why I need a driver's license (and after that, money with which to buy a car). And kids, here is your lesson: protest when someone hijacks your shopping cart, and do not accept friend requests without thinking. I just had a mental flash of Ted from How I met Your Mother saying that. Anyway, I'd better get back to work, on the work that I've been working on. :S

Signs

Lately, I've been been trying (very, very hard as it will soon become apparent) to find hidden meanings in everyday life. For instance, last week, a man in a suit handed me a bible. I took that as a sign that there was still hope for me. Hope that I might one day make effective use of my time and energy perhaps.

This Monday morning I was having depressing thoughts about the direction my life was taking. This happened while I was brushing my teeth. Was not sure how to interpret that. Perhaps it was time to stop brushing my teeth. No, that wasn't it. Maybe it was a sign that Monday mornings are a great time to make a new start. That one seemed more probable. But being depressed isn't the best way to start anything. Maybe poetry. But I am not a poet; will not be one in a million years. Mainly because I cannot stay focussed long enough to compose a couple of verses.

I pondered long and hard about this vexing issue on the long walk to my lab. I'm not exaggerating, it's almost 30 mins from where I live. During that time the radio gave me insight into what goes on in Jason Derulo's head (he has quite a vivid imagination), had Orianthi complaining about somebody's opinion of her. They say she's stupid and useless and a lot of other things. Poor girl. Then it informed me about great shopping deals, and declared itself to be the "best" music station. Well... I wonder how many of those there are. Needless to say, with all this wondering, the mystery of the sign remained unsolved.

This week is turning out to be hectic. I have an exam tomorrow, which actually explains why I am blogging. The fact that I remembered I have an exam is a sign that I should go back to studying for it. See, I'm getting really good at this!