Viral Vocab

You've surely noticed how the English language has been changing rapidly with new words coming into use on a regular basis, mainly since the internet revolution. Well apparently, there is an Oxford Dictionary of English (as opposed to the more conventional Oxford English Dictionary) that allows the inclusion of these newly made up words. Here are a few examples:

chill pill a notional pill taken to make someone calm down
chillax calm down and relax
turducken a roast dish consisting of a chicken inside a duck inside a turkey
staycation holiday spent in one's home country
buzzkill a person or thing that has a depressing or dispiriting effect
automagically automatically and in a way that seems ingenious, inexplicable, or magical
exit strategy a pre-planned means of extricating oneself from a situation
overthink think about (something) too much or for too long
matchy-matchy excessively colour-coordinated
LBD little black dress
frenemy a person with whom one is friendly despite a fundamental dislike or rivalry
cheeseball lacking taste, style, or originality
hikikomori the abnormal avoidance of social contact, typically by adolescent males (in Japan)

They say the only way to remember new words is to use them in a sentence. Since we have so many new words here, I'm going to need an entire paragraph to fit them all in. Now, to begin:

I am totally overthinking this. Is it that difficult to find accessories for my LBD so that I don't end up being all matchy-matchy at the party tonight? The last thing I want is for someone to think I am a cheeseball. Quite apart from that being an insult, it reminds me of the lunch my LKG benchmate used to bring to school, the eating of which was followed by her wiping her cheesebally (yes, this will be my contribution to the ODE) fingers on my sleeve. Yuck! She was definitely the first frenemy I had. I wish there was a way to automagically erase all but the most pleasant childhood memories. Sigh. I need to take a chill pill, chillax and think of an exit strategy in case I get stuck with some buzzkill this evening who can't stop praising the turducken on the buffet table, which would make it impossible to eat a dish I might have tried had I not heard the name and mentally shortened it to... (I will leave that to your imagination). And who knows? I might even come across a more accomplished hikikomori than myself, although if (s)he were that good, (s)he'd be at home, enjoying a staycation instead of planning an exit strategy for a non-existent social event.

Rants about Nothing in Particular

A lot of things are happening differently. So many, in fact, that it is beginning to make me wonder if all that I thought to be true for as long as I can remember could, in fact, be the opposite of true. (Would that be untrue or false or both?). Very disturbing. Consider this: when a person gets back from vacation, they experience what is known as a vacation hangover, where they take some time to adjust to life as usual. Guess what- not true! Also, it has been one of my cardinal beliefs that nothing good ever happens on a Sunday, the last day of the weekend. Also not true. I am actually enjoying the day, and even looking forward to the coming week. Like I said, there is something seriously wrong with the world. No, not with me; there is never anything wrong with me.

I have started taking driving lessons from a friend and am having the time of my life. I can't say for sure, but I get the feeling, my friend may not be enjoying it quite as much. It might have been the crumpling up of my learner's permit in fear when I drove in the direction of oncoming traffic, or the expressionlessness at the end of 45 minutes of badly executed turns, but I get the feeling my friend may not be quite as enthusiastic about the thrill ride as I am. What can I say? Some people just don't have the thirst for adventure.

Speaking of adventures, I got married a little over a month ago and discovered that I really like it. Also, there is something to be said for the founders of the institution of marriage. Whoever you people were, may your souls rest in peace. "I'm married" is quickly becoming my favourite excuse- it is just so versatile. In the coming months, you can look forward to a full discourse on the variety of situations and social gatherings where it can be used, and the things (inanimate or otherwise) it can help you avoid.