My Experiments with Tea

Gandhi experimented with truth and wrote a book about it. He thus inspired me to delve into the mysteries of the next most elusive thing in the world- the perfect cup of chai, more than 60 years later. That, by the way, gives new meaning to the phrase "greatness is its own reward". If, like me, you grew up on a healthy dose of the X-files, you will know that the truth "is out there". Fortunately for us, tea isn't. Quite readily available in fact.

Step 1: Procurement

If you were to go to a store and check out their tea section for the first time, you would be overwhelmed by the the number of options available . I did not have a preferred brand, had never tried flavored or green tea. Or mint tea or ginger tea or spice tea. In fact, berry and orange-flavored tea didn't even appeal to my senses. It finally came down to inky-pinky-ponky. After all, experiments require a healthy dose of luck.

Speaking of luck, I had read a status message a few days ago in which someone's boss had asked them to look at just the bottom 20 resumes out of a huge pile they had received. His logic was that if they weren't lucky, he wouldn't want them working for his firm anyway.

Step 2: Making a hypothesis (I might be mixing up experimental method with the 'scientific method' as taught in my 11th grade biology class)

In this case, the hypothesis was simple: 'I can do this'. It was also vague enough to cover all possible outcomes. Eg. I can make great tea, I can procrastinate, I can give it a shot, I can fail miserably etc.

Step 3: Putting my hypothesis to the test

Decided to go with cardamom tea, mainly because I like the smell of cardamom, and I had a packet-full of it lying on my shelf that I had no other use for. Not going into details at the moment. Saving that for my patent.

Oh, ever noticed how vague patents tend to be? Like, if they are talking about a single effective catalyst, "it is a metal or metal salt (chloride, sulphate or carbonate or derivatives thereof) belonging to group I-VII" (that's practically every metal there is!) "...with or without heat treatment at a temperature between 20 deg and 1140 deg C". Sometimes I wonder why they even bother.

Step 4: Results and conclusion(s?)

I realized what I had been missing all these years. Oh chai, how do I even begin to express my feelings? Also, I decided I could do much better. Overall, I concluded, the experiment was a success in that it validated my hypothesis (as I knew it would-- ooh, I'm psychic :))

You might be wondering about the picture. I know you know. Still, it is best to make things clear. In the immortal words of Shaggy, it wasn't me!

Classy Idiot

I consider myself a spontaneous person. This is because I often say things on the spur of the moment that I regret later. So I find it hard to understand why it is that I go numb whenever I am asked a direct question. I answer questions out of turn in class most of the time, regardless of whether I know the answer or am just guessing. I do it mostly to stay awake, and sometimes to amuse myself. Hmm... I don't know if it's just me or do monologues put other people to sleep as well?

I remember once when Mister (my old arch enemy you might remember from my earliest post) was telling me in many different ways (he does not economize on words, and believes that repetition is the key to being understood) that I'd never make a living as an engineer, I actually dozed off! Didn't know I could do that while being insulted. Thankfully, I snapped myself back to consciousness and adjusted my expression to one of remorse just in time to hear the end of his tirade. By the way, the only reason I got away with it was because he was too involved in his speech to notice.

But I was going to write about something else. Ah yes. Class. So I was sitting in class, doing my thing, when the professor suddenly pointed at me. "You", he said. "Name a compound". It was an easy enough question. For anybody else, that is. I was unable to move, let alone speak. "You there, in the white sweater" he clarified, thinking I hadn't heard him the first time. I had heard all right. It was only my motor skills that were temporarily impaired. So I looked up with my big round eyes (I like to imagine I have big round eyes, like Japanese cartoon characters) and said nothing. Finally, with a Herculean effort, I managed to mutter "benzene". Well, I thought, I got through that one. But no, there was more to come. "Polar or non-polar?". Non-polar, duh, my head said. But my throat refused to co-operate. I looked around. No help. I surprised myself then by saying "I don't want to answer that". Seriously. The professor came to my rescue by nodding, turning around and saying while writing on the blackboard, "Yes, that is correct. Non-polar". He then proceeded to ask other students to name compounds, who answered with absolutely no trouble and he had a big list in less than 20 seconds. I realize I wasted half a minute of class time just being me. I really hope I get over my fear of answering questions before I defend my research proposal, or failing that, at least before I start a career, especially if it is a career in teaching. Ah well, que sera sera, the future's not ours to see. Always wanted to use French in one of my posts! :D

New Beginning

Hello folks, and a happy new year to you all. Due to popular demand and a lot of pestering by more than 50% of my followers (I know there are just 6 of you, but isn't statistics awesome?), I'm BACK! I notice it's been 3 months since the last post so I guess an update is in order here.

I got engaged :) :) in December to the most wonderful guy in the world. And I am hoping he's forgotten I have a blog because it would be super embarrassing to have him read that. Notice how you tend to say very corny things yourself with a lot of feeling when it seems like the only possible way to express what you are feeling, but snigger when you hear actors say it on TV. If you are in the habit of watching old hindi movies, you have surely come across this exact scene: Old lady in white sari and young, dashing (you know.. hero-type) son. One of them is in distress and the other feels helpless. Son says, "Maa", then lady says, "Beta" (clarification: not beta like in software), then repetition of same lines with more intensity.. "Maaaa!", "Betaaa!". I really wasn't planning on saying that but my out-of-control imagination will never let me stick to one topic. Sigh. So, coming back to what I was trying to say, I've been in my own happy bubble for a while now, and generally feeling good about everything in the world. Well, unless we are talking about Haiti (which we are not). I'm actually curious to see how long such a state can last..

Anyway, my new year resolutions this year are 1. to get a license (to drive, not to kill; just in case you were thinking I was James Bond's replacement), 2. to read more technical papers than novels, 3. to cut down on my daydreaming, and 4. to update my blog more often. That probably covers everything. If I've missed something, I'll just add the remaining to this same list when I reproduce it next year.

Driving Forces

Learning to drive is my new thing. Like that guy from modern family: I'm a cool dad, that's my thang... (like he's the one who decides these things). When I say new thing, I do not mean that it is something I am doing. Rather, it is something I want to do sometime in the near future. Making it my "thing" is my way of putting somewhere near the top of my agenda. (If you've noticed all the words starting with 'some' in the last two lines, it should give you an idea of how soon I am going to put my words into action). You know, when my friends watch videos titled "10 worst parking errors" and laugh uncontrollably, I think to myself, you people just wait till I start. I'm sure to put the rest of the public out of contention.

Dedicated readers would remember how I was worried about not knowing to cook. Well, I am educating myself in the culinary arts now (necessity being the step-mother of all bad invention) and have found that there is fine line between cooking and cooking well. Wait, that didn't sound quite right. There is an ocean of difference between the two. Of course, being an engineer, I'm not planning to give up so soon. Going to build a bridge between these two long-lost brothers (you know, 'cooking' and 'cooking well'). I know I am not the kind of engineer that builds bridges but... (I've already used the necessity excuse once, and can't think of a better one, so here goes)... but somebody's gotta do it. One of the facebook quizzes I had taken a while ago told me that I was born to be a hero :)

Alienated

When I find words like 'alien' on official forms, I am reluctant to put a tick mark next to it. It's like I am betraying my basic human nature. The word 'alien' brings to my mind a picture of a green face with big spiderman-like eyes. Yes, even I wondered, why that particular picture. One of my friends had set an alienware logo as his profile picture, and seeing it every day for more than a year has made me associate the picture with the word.

Ok, now I can't decide which train of thought to follow. I think I will do both, one at a time. First of all, alien? There has to be a better term. How about, say, "non-citizen+non-resident"? "from another country"? "not from here"? "away-from-home dawg"? People who set standards for political correctness should be notified of this. We need swift action to prevent further alienation of already homesick (and oversensitive, it must be said) whiners like myself.

About associating words with pictures, or vice versa, let's do a quick test. Ice cream, holiday, school, butterfly, MJ. I am pretty sure you got at least a few pictures in your head. (If you didn't, do let me know, I might just need to get my head examined). Hmm... Insane or Alien... I wonder which is worse...

The Plan

So I am planning to get a doctorate. I have done crazier things in life. Like, you ask? Well, let's see.. like falling off a bike (not that I planned that one), running 10km before breakfast (good work if you caught me out on that white lie/ pachha kallam, whichever way you want to look at it based on your language/colour/level of accuracy preference). Oh I have a good example- taking a 16-hour flight... ok, no, that was a direct consequence of the plan that prompted this discussion, hence does not count... hmm, looks like a change of opinion is in order here. I have Never done anything crazier than than this in all my life. What can I say? Wild is my new middle name.

Just this afternoon, I found one thing I liked about being in the US- macaroni and cheese. So much better than what our sup-dup wallah used to make. Those who went to college with me would have vivid memories of what I am talking about. Other than that, I have no views to share about this place. Not making the same mistake that frog (protagonist of the 'frog in the well' story) made.

However, there is one thing that cracks me up every time- the culture differences. The respect factor is so ingrained in all of us who studied in India that every time a professor walks into class, I find myself standing up. Unfortunately, on occasions like these, I am generally the only student standing. Then I go through an elaborate act to make sure no one suspects what I was really up to: I turn around, frown at my chair like there's something on it (still perfecting that look), then shake my head and sit down. After three weeks I've managed to discipline myself to the point where I get to only a half standing position, where it might look like I was about to get up and leave the class, but thought better of it. You know, like being a good sport, giving the old professor a chance...

Ah, haven't even mentioned any research yet, have I? Well that stuff's happening too. Didn't want my comeback post to be about that. We have lots of time. Somewhere during these 4 years when I run out of stories (as if!), I might consider it. And yes, the blog and I are still alive, thanks for your concern. I hope I have given you ample proof of our existence. Will keep writing, and I promise to keep my promises from now on :)

My Idle Mind

They say an idle mind is a devil's workshop. I was standing outside the embassy for my visa interview yesterday, prepared for a long wait. After my recent passport experience, I have developed a distaste for all forms of waiting around. To keep myself entertained, I keep up a steady monologue inside my head, which on this occasion went something like this:
Hey, that man standing in front of me has a photo album. I like photo albums. Maybe he'll let me have a look. But how do I ask? Hmm.. I remember reading in the application form that an entire wedding album was one of the requirements for a certain class of visa. I don't really see how that's relevent or why they need the entire album. Maybe they just like looking at photographs, like me.
A lady came and stood behind me. She instantly struck up a conversation in Tamil. I nodded politely at whatever she was saying, till it became apparent that she expected a reply, which was when I used my broken tamil to tell her I didn't speak the language. She had very few teeth, nearly toothless lady.. probably a distant relative of Nearly Headless Nick of Gryffindor (Harry Potter's house).
I looked at the people queued up in front of me and thought about an elective I had studied in college; it included a chapter on queue theory. Some of the terms had struck me as funny then. One of these, reneging, crossed my mind for an instant but I dismissed it. Nearly toothless lady then moved forward and stood to my right. I wondered if they had a term for this kind of queue (assuming that other people would follow her lead). 90 degree line? Right angle line? Right line? Nothing seemed appropriate.
Soon I got to the front of the queue and a lady ran a metal detector over me. She had on a blue uniform with a red border, the exact colour of the Club HP board across the road. After having my papers checked, I sat waiting on a chair for my interview. There was a flashing screen giving out instructions like 'Please help us to serve you better'...(how?)..'by maintaining silence'. That was easy. I sealed my already closed lips for their benefit.
While I was sitting there helping them serve me better, my neighbour started a conversation about student visas. I listened and replied whenever necessary. I have a bad memory for faces. Wouldn't remember this one after leaving this building. Memory made me think of an Indian movie, Ghajini. Dad is fond of saying things like "I think I'll do a Ghajini and forget this ever happenend". I had seen the Tamil version in college, but my Tamil being as bad as it is, I didn't realize that Ghajini was actually the villain's name. How many Indian movies are named after villains? Not many, I should think. Mogambo would have been a good name for a movie. I thought of Hollywood movies named after villians for about 10 seconds and the best I could come up with were Anaconda and Godzilla, but those weren't the kind of villains I had in mind.
Around this time, after playing a slow version of musical chairs, it was time for my interview. That took all of 2 minutes and I was out in the open at 8:55 am, less than an hour after I had entered.