Signs

Lately, I've been been trying (very, very hard as it will soon become apparent) to find hidden meanings in everyday life. For instance, last week, a man in a suit handed me a bible. I took that as a sign that there was still hope for me. Hope that I might one day make effective use of my time and energy perhaps.

This Monday morning I was having depressing thoughts about the direction my life was taking. This happened while I was brushing my teeth. Was not sure how to interpret that. Perhaps it was time to stop brushing my teeth. No, that wasn't it. Maybe it was a sign that Monday mornings are a great time to make a new start. That one seemed more probable. But being depressed isn't the best way to start anything. Maybe poetry. But I am not a poet; will not be one in a million years. Mainly because I cannot stay focussed long enough to compose a couple of verses.

I pondered long and hard about this vexing issue on the long walk to my lab. I'm not exaggerating, it's almost 30 mins from where I live. During that time the radio gave me insight into what goes on in Jason Derulo's head (he has quite a vivid imagination), had Orianthi complaining about somebody's opinion of her. They say she's stupid and useless and a lot of other things. Poor girl. Then it informed me about great shopping deals, and declared itself to be the "best" music station. Well... I wonder how many of those there are. Needless to say, with all this wondering, the mystery of the sign remained unsolved.

This week is turning out to be hectic. I have an exam tomorrow, which actually explains why I am blogging. The fact that I remembered I have an exam is a sign that I should go back to studying for it. See, I'm getting really good at this!

Pooky the Procrastinator

What do you do when you have a lot of work to be completed? I blog. Or use funny keywords to search my mail. Or type a person's name and read all the conversations we've had in the past- I don't know- 30 months or so. Or cook. Or clean. Or browse. Or all of the above. Today was one of those days. Sigh.

I know I could use the few minutes I am using to type all this down to actually get some of that pending work done. But come on, we all know it is useless to start work this late at night (it's 11:30 by my computer's clock). One thing I like about blogging is that unlike real life, no one is going to interrupt me here and point out that after 11 is when most students start their assignments. I wonder if that is where the term "11th hour" came from. Must remember to google that sometime.

Also, have you wondered how easily such thoughts can distract you from your task at hand? You might be seriously reading your textbook or notes, when suddenly you come across a term you feel compelled to look up on the web (resist that urge!!). Then, having once switched on your laptop, there is no way you can go back to studying with the same intensity. Sometimes even just plain 'go back to studying', with or without the former intensity, seems impossible.

I know all this because I have been studying for a long, long time. Or at least that is what I want people to believe when they see my occupation stated as 'student' on all my official records. Being a master procrastinator means that I leave all non-urgent work for the weekend, and then proceed to not do it. This leaves me dreading Mondays, as I am sure I have mentioned before in a different context.

Well, on a happy note, this entire rant took exactly 6 minutes to type.. which is a good thing in itself, although I am still planning to put off work till tomorrow morning. I even plan to set an alarm to enable me to procrastinate some more till finally, the work work becomes so urgent that it is impossible for me to ignore. But until that time I will continue to be the lazy slug I am. I like telling people that laziness spreads via blogs (I modify that to e-mail, when I write mails). So, happy lazing folks. Will post again soon.

My Experiments with Tea

Gandhi experimented with truth and wrote a book about it. He thus inspired me to delve into the mysteries of the next most elusive thing in the world- the perfect cup of chai, more than 60 years later. That, by the way, gives new meaning to the phrase "greatness is its own reward". If, like me, you grew up on a healthy dose of the X-files, you will know that the truth "is out there". Fortunately for us, tea isn't. Quite readily available in fact.

Step 1: Procurement

If you were to go to a store and check out their tea section for the first time, you would be overwhelmed by the the number of options available . I did not have a preferred brand, had never tried flavored or green tea. Or mint tea or ginger tea or spice tea. In fact, berry and orange-flavored tea didn't even appeal to my senses. It finally came down to inky-pinky-ponky. After all, experiments require a healthy dose of luck.

Speaking of luck, I had read a status message a few days ago in which someone's boss had asked them to look at just the bottom 20 resumes out of a huge pile they had received. His logic was that if they weren't lucky, he wouldn't want them working for his firm anyway.

Step 2: Making a hypothesis (I might be mixing up experimental method with the 'scientific method' as taught in my 11th grade biology class)

In this case, the hypothesis was simple: 'I can do this'. It was also vague enough to cover all possible outcomes. Eg. I can make great tea, I can procrastinate, I can give it a shot, I can fail miserably etc.

Step 3: Putting my hypothesis to the test

Decided to go with cardamom tea, mainly because I like the smell of cardamom, and I had a packet-full of it lying on my shelf that I had no other use for. Not going into details at the moment. Saving that for my patent.

Oh, ever noticed how vague patents tend to be? Like, if they are talking about a single effective catalyst, "it is a metal or metal salt (chloride, sulphate or carbonate or derivatives thereof) belonging to group I-VII" (that's practically every metal there is!) "...with or without heat treatment at a temperature between 20 deg and 1140 deg C". Sometimes I wonder why they even bother.

Step 4: Results and conclusion(s?)

I realized what I had been missing all these years. Oh chai, how do I even begin to express my feelings? Also, I decided I could do much better. Overall, I concluded, the experiment was a success in that it validated my hypothesis (as I knew it would-- ooh, I'm psychic :))

You might be wondering about the picture. I know you know. Still, it is best to make things clear. In the immortal words of Shaggy, it wasn't me!

Classy Idiot

I consider myself a spontaneous person. This is because I often say things on the spur of the moment that I regret later. So I find it hard to understand why it is that I go numb whenever I am asked a direct question. I answer questions out of turn in class most of the time, regardless of whether I know the answer or am just guessing. I do it mostly to stay awake, and sometimes to amuse myself. Hmm... I don't know if it's just me or do monologues put other people to sleep as well?

I remember once when Mister (my old arch enemy you might remember from my earliest post) was telling me in many different ways (he does not economize on words, and believes that repetition is the key to being understood) that I'd never make a living as an engineer, I actually dozed off! Didn't know I could do that while being insulted. Thankfully, I snapped myself back to consciousness and adjusted my expression to one of remorse just in time to hear the end of his tirade. By the way, the only reason I got away with it was because he was too involved in his speech to notice.

But I was going to write about something else. Ah yes. Class. So I was sitting in class, doing my thing, when the professor suddenly pointed at me. "You", he said. "Name a compound". It was an easy enough question. For anybody else, that is. I was unable to move, let alone speak. "You there, in the white sweater" he clarified, thinking I hadn't heard him the first time. I had heard all right. It was only my motor skills that were temporarily impaired. So I looked up with my big round eyes (I like to imagine I have big round eyes, like Japanese cartoon characters) and said nothing. Finally, with a Herculean effort, I managed to mutter "benzene". Well, I thought, I got through that one. But no, there was more to come. "Polar or non-polar?". Non-polar, duh, my head said. But my throat refused to co-operate. I looked around. No help. I surprised myself then by saying "I don't want to answer that". Seriously. The professor came to my rescue by nodding, turning around and saying while writing on the blackboard, "Yes, that is correct. Non-polar". He then proceeded to ask other students to name compounds, who answered with absolutely no trouble and he had a big list in less than 20 seconds. I realize I wasted half a minute of class time just being me. I really hope I get over my fear of answering questions before I defend my research proposal, or failing that, at least before I start a career, especially if it is a career in teaching. Ah well, que sera sera, the future's not ours to see. Always wanted to use French in one of my posts! :D

New Beginning

Hello folks, and a happy new year to you all. Due to popular demand and a lot of pestering by more than 50% of my followers (I know there are just 6 of you, but isn't statistics awesome?), I'm BACK! I notice it's been 3 months since the last post so I guess an update is in order here.

I got engaged :) :) in December to the most wonderful guy in the world. And I am hoping he's forgotten I have a blog because it would be super embarrassing to have him read that. Notice how you tend to say very corny things yourself with a lot of feeling when it seems like the only possible way to express what you are feeling, but snigger when you hear actors say it on TV. If you are in the habit of watching old hindi movies, you have surely come across this exact scene: Old lady in white sari and young, dashing (you know.. hero-type) son. One of them is in distress and the other feels helpless. Son says, "Maa", then lady says, "Beta" (clarification: not beta like in software), then repetition of same lines with more intensity.. "Maaaa!", "Betaaa!". I really wasn't planning on saying that but my out-of-control imagination will never let me stick to one topic. Sigh. So, coming back to what I was trying to say, I've been in my own happy bubble for a while now, and generally feeling good about everything in the world. Well, unless we are talking about Haiti (which we are not). I'm actually curious to see how long such a state can last..

Anyway, my new year resolutions this year are 1. to get a license (to drive, not to kill; just in case you were thinking I was James Bond's replacement), 2. to read more technical papers than novels, 3. to cut down on my daydreaming, and 4. to update my blog more often. That probably covers everything. If I've missed something, I'll just add the remaining to this same list when I reproduce it next year.

Driving Forces

Learning to drive is my new thing. Like that guy from modern family: I'm a cool dad, that's my thang... (like he's the one who decides these things). When I say new thing, I do not mean that it is something I am doing. Rather, it is something I want to do sometime in the near future. Making it my "thing" is my way of putting somewhere near the top of my agenda. (If you've noticed all the words starting with 'some' in the last two lines, it should give you an idea of how soon I am going to put my words into action). You know, when my friends watch videos titled "10 worst parking errors" and laugh uncontrollably, I think to myself, you people just wait till I start. I'm sure to put the rest of the public out of contention.

Dedicated readers would remember how I was worried about not knowing to cook. Well, I am educating myself in the culinary arts now (necessity being the step-mother of all bad invention) and have found that there is fine line between cooking and cooking well. Wait, that didn't sound quite right. There is an ocean of difference between the two. Of course, being an engineer, I'm not planning to give up so soon. Going to build a bridge between these two long-lost brothers (you know, 'cooking' and 'cooking well'). I know I am not the kind of engineer that builds bridges but... (I've already used the necessity excuse once, and can't think of a better one, so here goes)... but somebody's gotta do it. One of the facebook quizzes I had taken a while ago told me that I was born to be a hero :)

Alienated

When I find words like 'alien' on official forms, I am reluctant to put a tick mark next to it. It's like I am betraying my basic human nature. The word 'alien' brings to my mind a picture of a green face with big spiderman-like eyes. Yes, even I wondered, why that particular picture. One of my friends had set an alienware logo as his profile picture, and seeing it every day for more than a year has made me associate the picture with the word.

Ok, now I can't decide which train of thought to follow. I think I will do both, one at a time. First of all, alien? There has to be a better term. How about, say, "non-citizen+non-resident"? "from another country"? "not from here"? "away-from-home dawg"? People who set standards for political correctness should be notified of this. We need swift action to prevent further alienation of already homesick (and oversensitive, it must be said) whiners like myself.

About associating words with pictures, or vice versa, let's do a quick test. Ice cream, holiday, school, butterfly, MJ. I am pretty sure you got at least a few pictures in your head. (If you didn't, do let me know, I might just need to get my head examined). Hmm... Insane or Alien... I wonder which is worse...